Birthday Recap

I turned 21 yesterday. Life is good. Life is...intoxicating.

Yeah, I said it.

Several highlights of the day:

- My favorite birthday cards include:

1. Rachel's birthday card, which was actually a Christmas card. Written across the Christmas tree was "It's a BIRTHDAY TREE!" with an arrow pointing to the ahem...birthday tree.
   
2. This card from my voice teacher, Nomi:
   
3. The birthday card I got from b.good. Because it gives me a free burger. Yum.
   

My favorite birthday gifts include:

-The sock monkey pajamas my mother bought me. And the garnet jewelry set my mother and grandmother bought me. But they are less fuzzy and cute.
- The bestest yummiest Tequila ever, courtesy of the lovely generous John D. It came in a box. With tissue paper.

- All the "first-time-I-met-Olivia" stories my friends decided to share during my first-drink celebration at Grafton Tuesday night. It's a good thing I was drinking, because they were mostly amusing and not as embarrassing that way.

- The witty gems my friends give me every day. Like this one:

John talking to Rachel about why she looks older than me. She asserts that it's just because she looks old. He says:

"No, you are young and baby-faced. You just look world-weary. Like an abused Amish housewife. Like you were married at 17 but got slapped around a bit because you were late for the barn-raising."

This is not meant to make light of domestic abuse. Or Amish people. But it was really funny.

I will be 21 in 1 hour and 3 minutes!!!!

Just thought I would share.

More amusement from Quincy Open...

[Quincy-open] To the individual that pounds the cinder block

---

To: quincy-open@hcs.harvard.edu

I can appreciate the fact that you are either practicing for something or simply alleviating your aggression, but can you please not pound on the cinder block in Old Quincy basement past midnight? Really, could you not do it past 10 at night? I live on the first floor and I can hear every smack of your hand, it, quite literally, vibrates my bed frame in a non-pleasurable manner. I speak for those that quietly suffer on the first floor of the entryways above which you practice: please desist. I would ask you in person, but sometimes when I go down there to see what all the noise is about, you are wielding a rather large sword; frankly, its intimidating. _______________________________________________ Quincy-open mailing list

Now, never having heard this person, I haven't had the pleasure to judge for myself, but this is the type of character I imagine is banging around Old Quincy basement:

That would be intimidating to come across on my way to the laundry room. But here's my tip: take a broom or something innocuous, raise it above your head, and shout, "BY THE POWER OF GRAYSKULL!" repeatedly while spinning around. I think maybe that would remedy the situation.

Just a suggestion.


(PS if you don't get that joke, click the phrase which activates the Sword of Power)

An exhibit of how puppies make you happy:

This is why I love my house:

[Quincy-open] Basket O' Puppies!

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Are you a giving soul without an outlet for your positive energy? Think your roommate is looking down this week? Need a good way to spend a date? Then try out BASKET O' PUPPIES, a Harvard-based startup dedicated to improving the lives of everyone, one hour at a time. Imagine you're having a tough week. Your thesis research is going all wrong, your ex is sleeping with your best friend, your house has burnt down, the stock market has crashed, and you've been diagnosed with a particularly virulent case of chlamydia. You're walking back to your room from class after learning that your professor hated your essay so much he spat on you in class - and then had carnal relations with your mother. But you open the door - AND THERE IT IS! A BASKET OF PUPPIES! Because your roommate, the thoughtful little crumpet he is, has rented out a basket of puppies for an hour just for you! Imagine all of your sorrows melt away as puppy labradors and daschunds playfully romp in your dirty laundry and nip at your toes. And at then end of the hour, you pay us the requisite fee, we come and take the puppies away from you, leaving you to wallow in your misery again. But come on, it was worth it, right? Basket o' Puppies. Available in most major U.S. cities! Standard rate: $30 an hour for a basket of 6 puppies. ALSO! BASKET O' PUPPIES is looking to hire compassionate, hard-working individuals - maybe even you! Just send us a resume and we'll try to get you an interview - be sure to bring us the cutest puppy you can find! _______________________________________________ Quincy-open mailing list

Quincy-ites understand where true happiness comes from.

"I do not want your blog pity": a story of Max Weber and big whores

Said Rachel, after demanding that I make a blog entry about our current escapades in Quincy D-hall.

Things we have learned tonight:
- Kara is a tiny, tiny girl. But a big whore.
- Kara is a cautionary, cautionary tale.
- Thesis jokes are never funny, they're only relevant.
- Rachel can adjudicate things she says to be hilarious.
- Kara's whoredom forms a protective shell around her being. So she can take it like a big big whore.
- Rachel's not in a mood. She's Max Weber.
- Apparently Stu probably didn't appreciate me naming him Stu. Rachel apparently talks to computers.

What would Max Weber say about this? He would say you were a big big whore.



Rachel puts her post-it notes to good use.












The midnight d-hall squad:


Now they have abandoned me to my grant proposal writing. Sad.

In other news, Jen had a sad encounter with a rabbit and now it is haunting her. I told her to have a seance to make it forgive her. Hopefully bunny ghosts don't bear grudges. What do we think?

If they can get along...

Watch how the canary just burrows right back under after she picks him up. And the cat's like, What? These are my peeps!

Saturday of Boredom

This defines my experience today. I was complaining yesterday that I hated that people always schedule things during my days off. Yesterday, I thought it would be nice to have a day all to myself, getting things done.

Be careful what you wish for. I had absolutely nothing to do or go to today and have been so bored.

Here is what I have accomplished today:
1. Tried to continue working on my fellowship/grant proposals.
2. Got overwhelmed and decided it would be a good time to catch up on television shows.
3. Cleaned out and reorganized all the drawers of my dresser and vanity.
4. Realized I have exactly 8 socks without mates.
5. Spent half an hour looking for my other socks.
6. Found none, but felt bad about throwing out the lonely socks, so stuffed them in the back of the drawer.
7. Washed all my makeup brushes.
8. Vacuumed. Twice.
9. Stared at my toes. For the last 10 minutes.

This is getting a little ridiculous. Surely I am capable of entertaining myself.

***stares at toes for another 5 minutes****

Nope. I got nothin'.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Also, from Sachi's blog:

This is what I inspire....

Just FYI, from a GChat conversation with Nick:

Nicholas: it's like

i feel like

you're like

jesus

or something.

That's right. I'm Jesus. Boo-yah.

It's on 48th, between 8th and 9th

From Overheard in New York

As Loud As Opera, but for No Apparent Reason

Teen boy: Mom, are you sure that woman isn't the same as the one in Phantom of the Opera?
Mom: I'm sure. It's a different actress.
Teen boy: Because it's that same loud-ass style of singing.
Mom: Broadway singing.
Teen boy: Yeah. Really loud-ass singing. I wonder where the school is for that.

--Tarzan intermission, Richard Rogers Theatre

Overheard by: I wondered that myself

Blogging in class. Again.

So I got into HAA 10 off the waiting list and am currently listening to the most Dutch professor I have ever seen in my life. He has a thicker accent than my grandfather. I feel like I've just walked into Albert Heijn. But instead of groceries, there's just a bunch of cool art.

Something I have noticed: art has lots of naked people in it. The Harvard students in this class are proving their intellectual prowess by keeping themselves from giggling every time a new naked person comes up. I am beginning to lose the fight to restrain myself.

Yeah Callbacks

In honor of callbacks, here is a video for your viewing pleasure:

This has nothing to do with callbacks whatsoever, except for the fact that Jack F. and Lillian R. and me were watching it during Twelfth Night callbacks this morning. Friggin' hilarious.

Alison and Me on the Boston Globe Website

We're famous!

But you can't see my eyes.


Yay Pudding Parade!

"I'm not quite sure what God's doing there..."

- My Canterbury Tales professor

It's official. I'm blogging in class. No one tell my mother.

My professor looks like a hobbit. He is British and speaks Middle English. Rachel told me on GChat that I should take picture of him, but I can't figure out an inconspicuous way of doing that. So here's my solution:



...he just said, "I'm going to bludgeon you for one more minute." Brilliant.

And: "It's a Wife of Bath REVOLUTION!"

Nostalgic Throwback to November

Courtesy of Alison:

Ask The Stage Directions To Tennessee Williams' Cat On A Hot Tin Roof

A sample of the genius:

Dear Stage Directions to Tennessee Williams' Cat On A Hot Tin Roof,

Because of the stock market's recent tumble, I am in a financial rut. Should I reinvest in mutual funds, or should I stay with my old stocks and wait it out?

–Financially Fazed in Florida

Dear Financially Fazed,

(Different characters enter and exit. All of them talk in excited southern accents that may only exist in my plays. Big Daddy enters. He is big and southern. He crosses upstage to his son, Brick. Big Daddy shoots everyone else on stage a look suggesting, "Get out of here. I want to talk to my son." Everyone immediately exits stage left because people are typically intimidated by a character named Big Daddy. He speaks…)

BIG DADDY (in a tone conveying that he thinks his son is a homosexual):

BRICK (in a tone knowing that his father wants to ask him if he is a homosexual):

(Curtain. End of Act II.)

THAT wasn't in my copy of the script.

P.S. quote of the day:

David T.: It's the B's and D's...they look the same.
Me: Well, are you dyslexic?
David T.: I knon't dow!!!

If you haven't seen this video...

You should.




Now here are Allison, Matt Stone, and me doing our best Celine Dion impressions. Allison is telling Matt that some people have everything, they have nothing, and it's wonderful. I am nodding my head in a ghetto way. Matt is rocking out:

Common Casting at 11:30 = gettin' a little punchy.

Back at the Fund!

And it's awesome. "Hi my name is Olivia, I'm calling from the Harvard College Fund. How are you tonight?"

You're gonna pull me into some viral marketing bullshit...

This makes me happier.

I just spent an hour with the Dell guy replacing my motherboard...

AND THE SOUND IS STILL SCREWED UP. WTF, MAN????

So frustrated.

Now I have to go work out. A warning to you all now: I am going to be extra grumpy today. Grr.

Sachi is live blogging from Common Casting...

and just announced to the room: "If I've never met you, can you come introduce yourself to me so I can write about you?" I love her. Live-blogging is awesome.

...and she just booked out of the room to audition for SGCT.



Sachi quotes:
- "Don't put me in your Equus fantasy, Barry Shafrin!"
- "If you were stranded on a desert island and you could only take one kind of sex toy, what would it be and why?"

A gem from "Overheard in New York"

I just really appreciate this, for some reason:

And Don't Even Get Him Started on Hollywood Squares

Dude: You know what I realized? Everything I need to know or see, I get from Wikipedia, YouTube or Urban Dictionary.
Philosopher: Yes, for they form the triangle of knowledge, first envisioned by the Incas. But once their triangle of knowledge gained too much power, it destroyed their civilization, and that is how one of the great civilizations of old fell.
Dude: ... Damn, man, you always make shit deep.

--Q65A bus

Nothing is final till you're dead, and even then I'm sure God negotiates.

Angelica Houston, Ever After.

Having dinner with Jen last night, she explained to me how at the McKinsey women's conference one of the presenters said that everything is negotiable - from televisions at Best Buy to discounts at Express. She also said that while men tend to see everything as negotiable, women tend to see things as more concrete. She said that to be a successful woman, you have to learn to negotiate. "It's easier to ask for forgiveness than to get permission." So basically, it's better to piss people off and sometimes get more than always assume that you have as much as you can get. Or something like that.

I think this is an interesting idea. I wonder if this theory would apply to areas of life other than consumer interactions. Like, if I go to my TF and say, "So, about this B-. How about we make it an A?" And then if he/she says no, then I go, "Okay, I understand your position. So let's say B+." Would that work? I think maybe I will put that to the test this semester.

I arrived back from NYC at 5 this morning. Fun fun fun. Back to the hallowed halls of Harvard and free food and no Greyhound buses for a VERY long time. Phew.

So, COMMON CASTING WEEK HAS BEGUN! The Ex is decked out in usual, though unsurprisingly the theme is creepily obscure and post-dramatic. Who is our Campus Liaison again...??

Rachel celebrates the kookiness of the Common Casting theme

(note the Oh Dad, Poor Dad paintings on the balcony)

Dan P. is grumpy when he is hungry. He is also annoying when he has been complimented by Artistic Directors. I just thought I would share, as I am sitting next to him for the next hour.

However, he provides amazing fodder for Matt B.'s Dan impressions. Example (Matt, as Dan, talking about himself): "Who is this person sitting in this chair? He's just amazing."

it's like the children of the damned...in pink.

Okay maybe I'm overstating it a bit. But I have never seen so many blonde people in my life. Or so much pink. Not even in my bedroom. And that is saying something. Terrifying. I am scarred for life.

"Gonna quit my job and move to New York...

'cause somebody told me that's where dreamers should go...Tattoo my body with every Broadway show." - Sara Bareilles



A little intense, one might argue, but I'm listening to "Vegas" on repeat tonight as I pack for my whirlwind trip to NYC to go on this crazy audition. This is most likely just an excuse to get out of shopping week, but I'm telling myself that it's for the experience. ;-)

Also, I shall see Jen in Manhattan Monday night and we are going to eat French food. Jen does not like New York. In fact, I'm pretty sure she hates it. Hopefully, she does not hate French food as well, because then we would be 0 for 2. Come to think of it, I don't know if I like French food. Most of the food I ate in France was pretty good, but I don't know if that was French food or just food in France. Hmm. Quandary. We shall see.

The last time I went on an audition in New York was when I auditioned for summer stock theater the summer before freshman year. It has been a LONG time. It will be nice to come back after the craziness of an open call to Common Casting, where I know everyone and things are so relaxed. I get that it doesn't always seem that way, sometimes it's actually quite hectic, but if you think about it, we are so lucky to have a safe space in which to create theater without the professional crap.

Wow, this is the most unfunny post ever. I lose. But last night I was hilarious, I promise. To give you an idea: